"No one should go through cancer alone."

Cheryl Lindsay, September 25, 2008

Good morning everyone, and thank you for having me here.

I'm very pleased to have the opportunity to share my experience with CAREpath. Being here allows me to express my gratitude for a program that helped me through a very difficult time. It also gives me the opportunity to indirectly help others, by asking you to encourage you clients, union members, and peers, to participate in the unique CAREpath program, and take advantage of the services they provide.

No one should have to go through cancer alone. I was very fortunate to have a strong network of support. I have a husband who loves me and has been with me throughout the experience, supportive children, family, friends and co-workers. As an OTIP member, I was also fortunate to have available the support provided through the CAREpath program.

I’d like to begin by telling you why I think individuals diagnosed with cancer need the support provided by CAREpath. I will try to provide you with some insight from your client’s perspective as a person with cancer, and move on to relate how CAREpath helped me to cope and recover.

I truly believe that unless you have experienced a cancer diagnosis, you cannot understand. You can empathize, but you cannot fully understand the emotions that the word cancer evokes.

When I was diagnosed with breast cancer in March 2007, it was the biggest shock of my life. I was changed in a moment from a self-confident professional woman, who had been bravely dealing for 2 weeks with the possibility of a cancer diagnosis, into a victim, a statistic, a cancer patient. I no longer felt brave - I felt numb, terrified, and very much alone. This just wasn't happening to me! I was a healthy, active, asymptomatic, pre-menopausal woman who believed she had control of her life and health. There was no family history of breast cancer. I had breast fed both my children. I exercised everyday. I practically lived on fruits and vegetables, and I drank green tea! I was in the best shape of my life! This couldn’t be, I had done everything right!

My breast cancer diagnosis occurred at the time news broke in Newfoundland had received incorrect breast cancer test results. This was evidence to me that someone had made a mistake. I actually expected to receive a phone call anytime telling me this! It was many months before I could really believe that the whole thing wasn’t a cruel deception or a nasty dream.

Two weeks after being diagnosed, I underwent a bi-lateral mastectomy. Although in a daze of shock and denial, I understood that the surgery was required to save my life. I recall stating “They’re just breasts” I was in no way prepared for the emotional trauma of losing my breasts to my sense of self and feminine identity. I was devastated. The grief was at times overwhelming.

When you have breast cancer you feel like you’ve lost control. Most people are not familiar with the maze of the medical system, and at a time of such intense stress, it can be intimidating and bewildering. You go for tests, you get results, you are sent for more tests, more results, you are constantly going to doctor’s appointments. You’re always somewhere else, listening to what someone else has to say about you. I sat with doctors and nodded my head, barely capable of comprehending what I was being told, let alone able to formulate responses. I couldn’t help but feel that I was no longer the one in charge, and my personality began to change. Not for the better! I was anxious and worried. I wasn’t sleeping; I became depressed, irritable and very angry.

This was the person that OTIP Disability Analyst Cheryl Muschette had to deal with! She did so with a great deal of patience and professionalism. This was also the physical and emotional state that I was in when I began with CAREpath. I was so fortunate to begin participation early in my diagnosis and treatment.

I am comfortable to broadly state that individuals with cancer struggle emotionally and physically. They need encouragement, hope, and to know that they can do this. CAREpath' s approach was to help the whole person, and the assistance was empowering. The support I received gave me the courage to face breast cancer, to understand my disease, and to become an active member of my treatment team.  CAREpath helped me to reclaim the inner strength and resiliency I had before cancer, and to use that.Through CAREpath, I was provided with one on one regular contact with an oncology nurse. I arranged to have test results and pathology reports sent to CAREpath, enabling them to have specific knowledge of my cancer. I was always confident that my privacy and confidentiality would be respected.

My CAREpath nurse, Lynn, provided me with information in a caring and compassionate manner. She was a great listener: always conscious of my emotional state and readiness to learn about the disease. Information was provided in a timely manner and did not overwhelm me. During our weekly conversations, I was able to honestly express my fears and deal with my emotions. I didn’t have to put on a brave face or pretend I was strong as I often tried to do with my family and friends.

Lynn ensured that I had accurate knowledge and understanding of the disease and prognosis. She provided me with current literature and research as well as coping strategies. She continually reassured me that my efforts to deal with stress and fighting the cancer were positive. She answered all of my questions and listened to me cry.

As the first appointment with the medical oncologist approached, I was very apprehensive. Lynn told me what to expect at the cancer center, and discussed the various chemotherapy protocols that I may be offered. She gently encouraged me to be proactive. She gave practical advice such as bringing a journal to my appointments to record my questions, answers, and other information the oncologist provided. Simple advice such as having my husband record the information so I could focus on the conversation with the doctor. Any questions that arose after with my oncologist, or points I didn’t fully understand, were answered and explained by Lynn. As my knowledge grew, my anxiety was reduced, as my understanding changed so did my attitude, my emotions, and sense of well-being. I became an informed patient and I believe the wonderful doctors of the Northeastern Ontario Regional Cancer Center appreciated that.

Throughout chemotherapy, Lynn was a reassuring voice, guiding me through the physical side effects. I always felt well prepared for treatments, and was confident that I could deal with the side effects. The tips and suggestions Lynn gave made chemotherapy manageable. I was able to continue my daily walks throughout treatment, and tried to maintain normalcy as much as possible. I even shaved my head before the drugs could take my hair! Such small things made a big difference toward reclaiming control and taking the power away from cancer.

CAREpath helped me to heal physically and emotionally. I struggled with the perception of disfigurement after the mastectomy. This was very much affecting my quality of life. I couldn't look in the mirror at the scars across my chest. Despite having such a loving and supportive husband, I couldn't change in front of him, and certainly was not capable of an intimate physical relationship. I hated wearing the prosthesis, yet would wrap my arms protectively across my chest when out in public. I was frustrated with myself and couldn't understand why I was struggling with this. How could I be so vain? Lynn helped me to understand that it wasn’t foolish vanity; I had lost a part of my identity as a woman. She helped me to gain a measure of acceptance.

After completing cancer treatment, CAREpath continue to provide support. Lynn assisted me when considering breast reconstructive surgery; helping me to weigh the options available, find a surgeon that I was comfortable with, ask informed questions, and arranged for me to speak with other women who had undergone reconstructive surgery. I was also given a detailed survivor plan, including practical information and advice to ensure that I remain as healthy as possible. As well, a part of the survivor support program, I know that CAREpath and Lynn, are just a pone call or e-mail away if I need them.

As stated earlier, individuals with cancer need encouragement and reassurance. CAREpath gave me these, and helped me to regain control of my life. One of the greatest benefits of this has been to give me hope; not only hope of survival, but hope for a future.

To survive is defined as “to remain alive; to continue to exist”. I am considered a cancer survivor, but I want more than to survive, or just continue to exist! I want a full life. I’ve returned to work, to teaching the students I love. I continue to participate in as many activities as I always have. I look forward to a well-deserved vacation as my husband and I celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary, and I’m anxiously awaiting the arrival of my first grandchild in February. I’ve had breast reconstructive surgery, and, “by the way”, if I can paraphrase from a Seinfeld episode “they’re not real… and they’re spectacular!” Scars included.

I don’t know what the future holds for me, but who does? What I do know is that I am able to look ahead with positive optimism, and believe that I will enjoy all that life has to offer. I no longer try to just make it through today, but plan for tomorrow, next month, and next year. I credit Lynn, and CAREpath with helping me, guiding me, and enabling me, to reach this point.

I would like to close by publicly acknowledging Lynn Hyriniuk, my CAREpath nurse. I had the pleasure of meeting her today. I want to say thank-you. Thank you for your kindness, knowledge, and caring. I hope that I have conveyed how much you have helped me, and what it meant. I am forever grateful.

Thank you everyone for your time and for listening. Again please encourage your clients, union members, and peers, who are experiencing cancer, to participate in this unique and very beneficial program.

Thank you.

Cheryl Lindsay

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This is the written transcript for Cheryl's video testimonial presentation.

Cheryl also provided us with a testimonial letter prior to making this video which is worth reading.